My Top 5 Life Pieces For 2018

We are almost done with the first month of the new year. So much has happened over the past 20 years of my life. The little things and the big things that make me the young woman I am today. This year on April 3rd, I am turning the big two one: 21 years old. I gotta say, It makes me feel different about the reality that I now inhabit. Some of my hopes have come to life in the blink of my eye. In some aspects of my life, I have had to deal with pain head-on. The only thing that hasn’t changed within me is my sense of hope, looking and moving into the future I’m making on my own. I could name all of my hopes and dreams but I will need for full semesters to meet that. As I look ahead, here are my top five hopes of 2018 and beyond.

My Education

After taking 3 developmental classes during my last semester, I now have a 3.25 GPA. My hope for this part of my life is that I start taking THAT step. A step where I have to accept the help given to me. Accept that there are certain things within an assignment that I can’t just skip over. Ease into a state of no doubtfulness that can hold me back. Understand that not every educator will see things from my point of view. Speak my mind and not be fearful of the reactions that I receive. Take into consideration of always putting certain opinions from others into perspective. Learning has always been the backbone of who I am but yet, it seems as of late that sometimes I just need to take a step back and not focus on it so much. I’m young and I have plenty of time to work on myself but at the same time, making sure I just get it done.

My Social Life

It’s obvious that I have some strong online presence in the form of creating online friendships, I have yet to form new ones in the real world. It’s different making ”friends” in this day in age: you meet someone for the first time, do some basic chatting, mention your social media and then leave. I think I should give this some light because I fear as though I’ll just slip into that fold of where I’ll lose my human interaction altogether. I have always known myself as this quiet and nerve-wrecked human that messes up with just trying to work with the ever-changing field of society. I’ll admit that the time I’ve spent alone, I feel like I listen to my own thoughts more. However, I can’t shake the idea that the way I am in a social aspect can’t stay that way forever. I need to be willing to let people in. Only those who at least keep their best interest of me on the forefront and not get it mixed.

My Career

With going to a university first instead of a community college, I’ve set myself back a little. Sure I met some good humans and been to the most amazing events but I can’t ignore the negative that occurred. My grades were slipping from the moment I stepped on that campus. My parents could barely keep up with the payments to keep me there. I didn’t know who to trust about the adults that implied they would guide me in my academic and professional aspect of college. With trying to get help from a local radio host and just not adjusting to his own crazy schedule and losing contact with him in the process. I was just too stubborn, too blind and especially too young to understand. With this restart about now being at Northern Essex Community College, I can slightly rewrite my history. Get a new radio personality mentor and make sure to connect with them often. Take the required classes that I need to my degree. Just be smarter with my options this time around that can help me in and out of the classroom.

Family Life

My family. I know that with my family, I need to set a different reputation for them. I know that I’m disabled and life is just going to keep trying me up in different places. This time around I can’t just take a choice of running from the problem and hoping it’ll be solved for me. I have to do things for myself in my way and hope that they’ll continue to see things through my eyes. Nothing I do will ever make sense but in the end, anyone who is close to me will know that I’m doing what is best for myself. I am doing what I want for myself. That is good enough for me.

Mi Vida Amorosa (My Love Life)

Que sera, sera; whatever will be, will be. The same is always said about my love life. Now that I’m basically a young adult I’m old enough to, go on dates, messing around in the bedroom, romantically linking myself to men I’m interested in and so on and so forth. Yet, this to me only seems like an unrealistic measure that I should continue to hold off for a while until an actual “right guy” comes along. It does sound a bit depressing to some people who would read this and have spoken to me online or in life. I’m a nice girl, different from most to be fully honest and exact. Yet as I have as I have seen over the years, I just don’t exactly fit the bill for some lucky guy who wants my attention to begin with. Don’t get me wrong, I have met some cute guys over the years but they are most likely either taken, they live far away from me or they put me in the friend zone. Of course, some would say that I’ve put a man in the friend zone, which is false in many cases. Some guys have even urged me not to look for love in my hometown and from what I have seen over the years with women I’ve known in my life, I’m absolutely better off dating outside of my state. It’s just not my time yet and I shouldn’t push myself no matter how much others around me are trying to do just that.

In closing, I have many other hopes, life pieces, that I want to spruce up but these are definitely the front and center life pieces for not only 2018 but moving forward into my young adult years. It’s a time where it’s okay for me to mess up. It’s okay for me to have some alone time. It’s okay to improve myself for just myself and no one else. It’s okay to just be me and be happy about it. It’s okay to not have a proper ending for this post, it’s a work in progress. Stay tuned for the next one. Thank you for reading and God’s speed!

#LevelUp #MovingForward #YoungAdult #GettingOlder #Hope